The Man at the Door ...

I should be feeling good. I have completed my first year at university with good marks. My work has been part of an exhibition for the first time. It's summer and the sun is shining.  Yesterday I had a wonderful time with my daughters, shopping, laughing, gossiping.

I do not feel good.

I feel like a weight lifter desperately trying to stay on their feet while more and more weight is added.

Some of the weights have been mentioned before.  Like the £356 over payment by the Student Loan company three years ago. (I intermitted after I took an overdose).  That debt has been cleared now. The Loan Company phoned me the day after I came out of hospital and said I had to pay it, in full, there and then. I explained that I was not well and asked if I could deal with this later in the week. No chance. I had to get out of bed, find my debit card and repay the full amount immediately or the debt would be referred to their legal department.  The hole it has made in my budget is enormous and I have no idea how I will fill it.

But I am getting ahead of myself. The story begins a few weeks ago. On a Friday. I went into university only to be told to go home. I have gall stones, I felt terribly sick and was in a great deal of pain. The problem was that my work had to be prepared for the exhibition and hung by the following Tuesday evening.  Reluctantly I did go home, hoping that I would soon feel better and be able to get everything done in time.

Unfortunately, as the day wore on I felt worse and worse. I tried to call my GP but could not get through.

Then came a knock at the door. A man, in a suit, carrying a brief case, said he was from the council. I let him in. The next couple of hours were frightening and ... well, surreal, is the only word that comes to mind. 

Because I have a physical disability and mental health problems, I am entitled to claim housing benefit while I am studying. It appears that some where amongst the several forests worth of forms I have filled in over the last 10 months I made an error. The man explained that the error would probably make no difference to the amount of money that I receive towards my rent. Possibly, I may have been overpaid by about £1 per week, but never the less, I had committed fraud and he was a fraud officer.

Panick was added to the pain. I could not sit up straight and was having problems following the conversation. Every few minutes I tried to get through to the doctor. The man told me that when the error was discovered, the council had ceased paying my rent. This, apparantly was in April. He assured me that I would most likely only get a kind of written reprimand, it would not go to court. Then he read me my rights.

My rights! Literally! The whole 'you do not have to say anything', etc. I thought I would faint and was struggling to keep from crying. I was still re-dialling the surgery. He asked and I answered what seemed like endless questions then I signed my statement. I have little memory of what it said. During this I finally got through to my doctors surgery. The receptionist, a snippy young man told me off in no uncertain terms for not calling for an appointment first thing in the morning. Now, he told me crossly, he would have to give me an emergency appointment.

The man left. I called a taxi as I was totally unable to walk to the bus stop. Two hours later I was in hospital.

For four days. During which time I was seen by 7 doctors each of whom told me I had gall stones. Something I already knew and there was a scan (done in January) to prove it. Finally, on Monday evening, I insisted that I felt better and went home. The last doctor said I would be put on the emergency list for surgery.

Tuesday. Still feeling unwell, I finally managed to get my project up.

Since then, despite several phone calls, I have heard nothing from the council or the fraud officer. I have, however, heard from my landlord who, although understanding, are not exactly happy to have received no rent in around three months.

Yesterday I received a 'Notice Seeking Possesion'.

No, I do not feel good.

Comments

[cat]

I'm terribly sorry for what's happening right now. It's hard enough dealing with problems like this, or painful illnesses on their own, but to face a combination of the two is tasking a person beyond their reserves. I wish I could offer more than hope and prayers that your recovery is swift and the bureaucy is kind...

[Emmer]

Hello Michelle,
Thanks for commenting on my TT. I am sorry for the load you're living under at the moment. I've had a few of those myself in the past. I know you've probably heard this a million times before, but taking things one day at a time is the only way to go. I shall pray for you as well. I hope all things work out in your favor. Keep your head up. Good Luck, Maryanne

[Francesca Gray]

Thank you, Cat and Emme for your supportive comments. The council have promised that they will contact me next week. Some times it seems to me that no matter how hard I try to sort my life out, nothing changes. I cannot help wondering if its worth the effort.